If you’ve spent
time online in the past few years, you’ve probably heard the term “parasocial
relationship.” You may have even had a few and not known it. A parasocial
relationship is a one-sided relationship between a person who devotes their
time to a person (or people, or groups of people) who doesn’t even know they
exist. Often it takes the form of adoring fans following a celebrity’s career
and personal life. In recent years, many people have latched onto internet
celebrities, such as YouTube stars or Twitch streamers, but famous musicians,
movie stars, and athletes are still a go-to when discussing parasocial
relationships. Think about how much you’ve learned about various movie stars
throughout the years from reading tabloids, watching gossip TV shows, or just
casually browsing Twitter. There’s nothing wrong with taking interest in a
person or their work.
The
problem is when it becomes obsessive. A classic example is “teenage girls being
in love with boybands.” You don’t have to have ever listened to One Direction
to have heard stories of their fans violating their privacy or harassing their
significant others. (Note: while “fangirls” may be a well-known example, this
behavior is nowhere near exclusive to girls or teenagers. Anyone, of any age or
gender, can have a parasocial relationship and get obsessive. Nor is it a
behavior that any age or gender automatically has.) When people follow a
celebrity’s career so closely for so long, they start to believe they actually
know the person. They may assume that through knowing so many things about the
person, they have a genuine connection, despite the object of their affection
not knowing they even exist. Further, how someone portrays themselves to the
media is not actually indicative of who they are as a person. It’s a persona.
People naturally modify their behavior to the situations they are in. Just
because you’ve listened to someone’s album a hundred times and watched every
interview of them on YouTube doesn’t mean you know who they are in person.
As
previously stated, an interest in someone’s career can turn obsessive. This includes
stalking, harassing, and even threatening the person at the other end, or the
people close to them. It can turn dangerous. People with parasocial
relationships may also harass or threaten people for not liking the same person
or see them as a “threat” if they appear to be in competition with the other
side of the relationship. Think about how intense sports rivalries can get. It’s
not unheard of nowadays for celebrities to have their fans dogpile (mass online
harassment of a specified target) people saying negative things about them. Things
can get particularly hairy with famous online content creators, who many view
as more accessible than traditional celebrities due to the online nature. Sometimes,
content creators or celebrities will intentionally portray themselves as open
and accessible to foster parasocial relationships with their fans. They encourage
their fans to view their relationship as a two-way street to maintain a sense
of fan loyalty.
Of
course, this isn’t every relationship a person has to a celebrity they like. Often
times people are just interested, to varying degrees, in someone’s entertainment
career but never gets obsessive over it. It can be innocuous, like knowing which
celebrities you share a birthday with (I share mine with the late Stan Lee) or going
out of your way to see a movie because you like the lead. There’s nothing wrong
with that. Just remember that you do not know the person on the other end.
